If your daughter is struggling with defiant behaviors, it can feel like things get out of control very quickly. Here are four ways to handle out of control behavior.
Establish the root cause
Chances are, if you’re experiencing an out of control teenage daughter, you experienced her stages of anger and rebellion in the recent past. These stages are a progression with a common origin, or root cause, which may include:
- Lacks sense of belonging, or feels unloved and unwanted
- Unaware of personal strengths and passions
- Feels inadequate or unheard by others
- Has unresolved anger building up
Set clear boundaries
…and stick to them! Set the clear expectations of the house and ask your partner for their dedicated support. Offer verbal reprimands and appreciation, respectively and regularly. Be prepared for her manipulation in response to you holding a firm line, and don’t be pulled into an argument or power struggle. Restate the expectation and leave the room. Be the solid, unmoving rock that she pushes against, and meet her with understanding and compassion.
Beware of attention-seeking behavior
It is imperative that you respond to her behavior neutrally – remove judgment, fear and anger so as not to . You truly have to let go and allow her the space to hit rock bottom. This is not giving up on your child. Quite the contrary – experience is the most powerful ways she learns, and you’ll be there to support her when she’s ready to accept help.
Take care of yourself
You can’t be expected to run a household without adequate self care. Don’t sacrifice personal interests, activities or sleep in the midst of your daughter’s struggles. Keep your life or track and set a positive example. Most importantly, stop blaming yourself for your child’s behavior. It’s not about fault, it’s about taking responsibility – and if you’re researching how to help her, you’ve done that much.
Solstice East is here for your family
Solstice East is a residential treatment center for girls, ages 14 to 18. We understand the specific needs of troubled girls, which is why our program is centered solely on them. Our girls often grapple with depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, trauma, ADHD, social media addiction, and other emotional or behavioral problems when they come to us.
We strive to help students develop healthy habits and lead themselves back onto a path of success and happiness through meaningful therapy and a nurturing environment.