When your daughter is screaming at you about some minor chore you asked her to do, you might feel like screaming back at her and possibly breaking some objects. But you shouldn’t do that. Calm parenting is the way to go. Speaking to your teen in a soft, but firm voice does so much more for their behavior than yelling at them.
Why calm parenting?
Yelling at your kids can cause them some serious damage to their psyche. “Studies have shown that parents who express a lot of anger in front of their kids end up with less empathetic children. These kids are more aggressive and more depressed than peers from calmer families, and they perform worse in school. Anger has a way of undermining a kid’s ability to adapt to the world,” says psychologist Matthew McKay, Ph.D., a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA, and coauthor of When Anger Hurts Your Kids. Calm parenting is important because your teen learns from example. If you’re angry and aggressive, your teen will be too.
Calming down
It’s tough to not fly off the handle when faced with an insubordinate, defiant teen. But you really shouldn’t. Here are some things you can do to ensure calm parenting:
- Prepare yourself before it happens. There’s usually a certain time of day where emotions run high. Get ready for that moment by thinking of yourself as a parent over what you’re feeling at that moment.
- Take deep breaths. Inhaling and exhaling through your diaphragm has proven calming effects.
- Get up early. Taking time for yourself is so important to your mental and physical health. Do some morning exercises or read a chapter from a good book.
- Exercise. Do yoga or make time for a daily jog. Exercise reduces stress, leading to a calmer you!
- Be silly. If things are getting heated, making a joke, or doing a funny dance can turn the situation around pretty rapidly.
- Make a commitment not to lose it. Promising that you’ll keep your cool to yourself is the first step to calm parenting.
Solstice East can help
If your teen girl is struggling with emotional and behavioral issues and calm parenting isn’t cutting it anymore, consider Solstice East. Solstice East is a residential treatment center for teen girls ages 14-18 that utilizes a holistic clinical approach to therapy. We help girls struggling with issues such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.
For more information about how Solstice East can help your family, contact us at 828-484-9946.